What do you really want?

Moments of grace seem to “appear” when I sit quietly and make space to feel what’s about me.

One such occurred when I was sitting under a maple tree by the river. As I looked up at the leaves dancing gracefully in the breeze, I began to feel their “happiness” with the dance. They seemed to be smiling. I then pictured them hanging in stillness, turning themselves upside down with a stronger wind, or delighting in raindrops that rolled down them on their way to the earth. I knew that these wonderful beings were just as happy in any of these conditions. Above all I felt their ACCEPTANCE of their situation.

As I projected their lives forward I saw them magically change color as the fall came upon them. Once again I felt no resistance as they embraced the change. Then when it came time for them to “die” I felt them willingly release their hold on the tree and float gracefully to the earth. I also felt acceptance from the tree that willingly let them go, knowing itself to be part of the wonderful rhythm of the leaves. Neither the tree nor the leaves had need to cling to the other, but accepted the process and released each other with the soft smile of knowing.

In decomposition I saw the leaves release their gorgeous colors back to the earth and offer themselves as food for the continued rhythm of the process.

In the spring the newborn buds seemed to appear from nowhere, only to release their identity to new leaves as the process went on…..and on. In no part of the process did either of the participants fight or resist the changes.

And then in a moment of grace, I knew that I was also an integral part of these rhythms. That the same intelligent energy that informed the tree’s process informed my own. And in that moment it felt safe to release my own agenda and surrender MY will to the process of which I am a part. I immediately felt an incredible peace. I took it to be the peace that comes from ACCEPTING these rhythms that manifest in the comings and goings of the events and the people of my life. To resist nothing.

In this place I could breathe naturally and deeply, my muscles stopped holding on, then relaxed, and I felt that I had truly come HOME.